Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
