I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize