She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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