Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
