I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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