well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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