Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
