i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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