Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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