i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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