im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
