it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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