you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
