He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
