They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
