She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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