i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
