shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
