I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
