i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
