shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
