There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
