i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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