I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
