We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
