it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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