so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
