my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
