Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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