you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
