Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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