Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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