who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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