i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
