she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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