i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We are two peas in an std pod
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
