I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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