Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
