I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
