You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
