I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
