someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
