I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize