doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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