btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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