why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
