The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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