lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
