You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
