You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
