Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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