it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
