Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
