your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
