there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
