the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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