Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
