Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
