Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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