the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
