One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Duck Duck Cougar?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
