Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
