porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize