My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
