Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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