I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
