I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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